The Hopewell House

Tomorrow is my first full day back in the office-

Thankfully I am only working part time this week to help transition back into work, but regardless, this will be my first full day away from the little one.

It's so crazy in how a short two month time span, you can become so attached to such a tiny little being.

Even though I'm not very excited for tomorrow, I do have to thank all those wonderful mommas out there who gave me some great advice on heading back to work- THANK YOU!

The advice received was especially valuable tonight.

Tonight I had a checklist written up and was in the process of marking things from it off in hopes of reminding myself of everything I still needed to get done tonight and what all I need to take with me tomorrow.

And of course, tonight was one of those nights where Phoenix just wasn't ready to settle.

As I watched those minutes tick away, I started panicking that I wasn't going to get everything done that I needed to or else I would be up super late.

All I could think in this moment was why couldn't my baby just fall asleep and why of all nights did Dave have to get home late.

For a brief moment I started feeling both very much alone and very much frustrated.

But then I felt a gentle reminder tugging at my heart.

Make the moments you do have with your little one matter.

It suddenly hit me that the whole reason I was panicking was because I'm not looking forward to leaving my baby behind.

So why was I wasting these precious moments where I did get to be with my little one?

Why was I treating my baby as another thing to check off my list instead of valuing another moment to bond and connect?

Why was I forgetting that sometimes the most  important things aren't always doing but just being. 

And as I sat there thinking, I realized nothing needed to be rushed- it would all happen in its own time and that it would all get done in the end (even if that meant sleep deprivation).

And as I gently rocked my baby to sleep, I sat quietly with him for a few extra long moments, finding both thankfulness in this moment as well as contentment in the time we do have together.