The Hopewell House

It's getting bittersweet nearing these last couple of weeks of maternity leave. 

To be honest, I don't really want to think much about returning to work full time, but I feel like it's this unavoidable thing that's coming near very quickly and I'm having to come to terms with it. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my job and I'm looking forward to seeing my coworkers again, but I just have this really strong feeling this is going to be a fairly hard transition.

Maternity leave overall has been a very interesting. The first couple weeks of being off work were actually a really hard adjustment for me. Being a new mom definitely comes with its struggles no matter how rewarding or worthwhile it is.  It was such a crazy experience to suddenly be taking care of a newborn on top of lack of sleep and raging hormones. I feel like most times I stay fairly level headed emotionally, but man, I had  some really rough days where my thoughts would be racing and I'd just be a crying mess. Dave was here the first week which was really nice and he was SO helpful with the transition. So were my parents that first weekend they were here, and I loved having their care & support. But then next thing I know,  I'm suddenly all alone at home taking care of this little babe all by myself. Thankfully, Phoenix is a fairly easy baby and I feel like I was able to pick up on most cues pretty early, but I really struggled to know what to do with all this free time suddenly. It also didn't help that I started my leave a month earlier than I anticipated (funny how kids can change things) and there were a lot of loose ends I was still trying to tie up and things I was trying to plan for my time off. I would be home too exhausted to do anything, but when I would sit around I would feel so guilty. And then there were the days where they just weren't good and I'd blur my way through it to realize I had "wasted a day" (Which looking back now, I realized these days are the exact reason we have maternity leave).

 It was hard.

But then the weeks got easier, and I really loved the cuddles everyday on top of having this time to regain what little sanity I may still have.

It also helped that Dave's parents came to stay with us a few days (so nice to have them!), we went to Florida for Christmas to surprise family (and survived traveling with a newborn!), and then my parents came back to stay with us a while longer (miss them!).

And now, as I feel like I'm starting to be productive again and getting into a new routine, it's almost over.

It'll be fun to see my coworkers consistently again and once I get a new routine established it will be a lot better, but man, I'm going to miss my little man.

I'm going to miss our quiet mornings together and our afternoon naps.

I'm going to really miss all these little moments of watching Phoenix grow.

Thankfully I have an amazing supervisor who has been so supportive in this process and is working to help make my transition as easy as possible. 

I'm also so fortunate to work with other full time moms who I know will also be a great support system, 

but man, right now I'm really wishing I lived in Canada and had a year leave.

So I guess I'm writing this to be honest with what I'm feelings and to get some advice from you other mommas who've been in the same boat.

What did you do to adjust going back full time?

What are some things you all suggest I do before returning to work (lots of baby snuggles are already on the agenda)?

Any good coping mechanisms?

*Thanks in advance!*

Now to go cuddle up with the little one!