The Hopewell House

Lately I've been going through this huge transition within my life. It might explain why I keep writing these up & down emotional roller-coaster type of posts I've been posting lately. {you know, the whole "life is awesome" then the whole "blah. I hate life and I'm going to go all deep on you"} I think there is just a lot I am struggling with that seems to make me question everything I do. It's hard to always feel good about things when deep down you feel so crappy. Don't get me wrong, there are so many things I am so thankful for: I have a wonderful, supportive husband, two pups I adore, I love the classes I am taking towards my Marketing and Communications degree, and I feel beyond blessed to have a great family, awesome friends, a job to go to every day, and a roof over my head.  However, I also think this portion of my life is teaching me a lot. I have break down moments when it comes to what I want to do with the rest when I don't even really know what I want to do with the rest of my life and I have a feeling that I won't know for quite a few more years. I also have these internal struggles of staying stationary and even at times feeling insignificant. Sometimes I feel stuck {not to be confused with my marriage, marriage is pretty rad. I'm meaning more internal stuck-- feeling trapped in life decisions}.

Honestly I just feel this is what being in your mid 20's is all about.

I really and truly thought by now I would have things figured out. At 15, I imagined I'd be starting some type of career and I thought I'd be at least fairly established. Yes, I know how naive that now sounds, but really, I just thought there would be some sort of wonderful process and establishment that would come to me in my mid 20's. 

Ha.

I realize now that I know less about my future than I did 10 years ago.

But you know,

I'm really okay with that.

Really, I am.

I just think there is a whole lot more I have to learn before I'm ready for those big, significant moments in my life. There's times I react on things to look at it later and think, wow, am I really still that immature? Or there's things that happen, and mentally I'm just not ready to handle those things yet. Maybe that's why things in my life feel so disconnected. Maybe this is why I don't have something significant coming my way. Maybe I'm just not ready for these things yet, maybe I just need more time to learn and I need more time to grow.

I won't lie though, I really wish things did not have to feel so hard. And frankly, I wish it wouldn't take so long to figure all of this out. I wish the answer would just smack me upside the head. But hey, I've learned it's life and things will happen whether we like it or not and it will happen when it's ready to happen.. I guess success is the outcome of how one rolls with the punches life throws at them.

Anyway that's my rant.

Does anyone else feel this way or is it just me-

Do your 20's seem a whole lot harder than you originally thought?