So long 2012, unfortunately, I don't think you will be missed very much.

Oh man.
In less than 5 hours, 2012 will officially be over.

It's been a very crazy year. 
Lots of events.
Lots of lesson.
Lots of Adventures.

Unfortunately, I don't think I will really miss 2012. Don't get me wrong, I've had some really amazing moments; but really, it's also been a really tough year and I'm just ready for that next chapter in my life.

This last year has taught me that I am stronger than I ever thought I would be.
That sometimes I just need to stop taking control of things and learn to just let go.
That sometimes it's okay to ask for help and learn to rely on others.
That sometimes I can't always fix my situation, no matter how hard I try, and at that point it really is okay to just walk away from a bad situation.
That I can change, but I can't always change the people that surround me.
That I can be my own worst enemy.
That I can work independently, but I really need to be surrounded by supportive people.
That I am so beautifully imperfect but that I am growing and learning each and every day.
That no matter what I'm going through, life is still so family is so supportive...and that my husband is so absolutely amazing.

So with all this in mind, it's that fun moment in time where I talk about resolutions.
I know not everyone believes in making resolutions, however, I think they can be a great way to jump start on things we wish to do for the next year. To stop making excuses and start making changes. Now I know not everyone ends up living by them once these resolutions are made, however, I have always believed that if we can learn discipline, we can learn to change.
When looking back at last year, altogether, I feel fairly satisfied.
There are things I feel like I truly improved on and there are things I need to work better on.

Did we do better saving and living within our financial means? Yes and No. We had our good months and our bad months, but overall, we are on a much better track with spending and I've very proud with where we are at currently.
Do I feel I am a better person? Yes, I really think I'm on a good path. I am by no means perfect, but I really feel that my heart is continuously changing and to me, that is a definitely positive change in the right direction. 
Did I learn to take care of myself? Yeah, not really. With everything that happened within the last 6 months, I'll admit I faced some really bad depression. I definitely let go of myself. Running became a chore rather than a passion. I stopped eating healthy and instead kept opting for fast/junk food. I stopped caring about getting up, being active, being...well...happy. 
But friends, that is what leads me to my resolutions.
For 2013, I want that to change. 

I had this eye opening moment while I was at Target tonight. 
[yeah, Target of all places]
Because of Christmas, I had a few gift cards to spend. As I was walking through the store trying to figure out what I wanted to wanted to buy, I came across a pair of pants that I really wanted. I started looking through the sizes and realized I was going to have to go up from my usual size because I just wasn’t fitting into that size these days, which isn't a drastic change, but honestly I was a little ashamed and humiliated. I felt at that moment I had just let myself go and I hated the fact that the number on those pants was such a big deal to me. As I walked on to look through some other aisles, I kept thinking about those pants and it hit  me, I couldn't buy those pants. That number might be insignificant, but it was defining my life. I realized if I bought those pants, I was just complying to everything that was making me miserable. I was allowing myself to be okay with something I really was not okay with doing. I was allowing myself to settle without really fighting to make a real change in my life. So I went and put those pants back down and instead bought some new workout wear to help inspire a new change. 
Tonight I decided, I want to be happy & HEALTHY.
The truth is, I'm not right now...not really.
But I will be, and 2013 is going to be my new turn in events!
[hey, I'm mostly an optimist]

So here's my overall list for 2013:
+To find that passion I once had in running. I've just let it go and I hate it. I have decided to try a 365 project where everyday I will try to do at least a mile a day; whether I walk or run, my plan is every day to do at-least that one mile. I came across the idea from Elise's blog. I've never tried something like this before so I think it will be a lot of fun! I am also going to try to document it on instagram/twitter {@hhopewell- instagram @thehopewellclan-twitter} so follow along and wish me luck!
+To eat more naturally, take away that junk I've been putting in my body...yuck. I also really want to try to eat more raw, to make sure I'm getting a good intake of fruits & veggies.
+To find peace again; simple, blissful peace. Walks with the hubby, time to just sit in silence, maybe even more morning walks with the pups? The opportunities are endless!
+To find other outlets, maybe read some new books? New hobbies? New causes? I'm excited to just be more adventurous!
+ To exercise more. I always feel best when I exercise, now to just find that energy. I want something outside of just running. Maybe more yoga or a pilate class?
+To be more loving, more compassionate, more patient...I think this is something that I can always be working at.
+ To learn to just have fun, to stop letting stress and bitterness rule my life. Life is just too short.

So with that in mind, 
I wish you all a very happy New Year and I truly hope 2013 will be an awesome year for you!

Any New Year's Resolutions you wish to share?
I'd love to hear them!

You may also like

No comments:

Powered by Blogger.